


Everybody Loves Akame

by animationgirlKIA



Category: Akame ga Kill!
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 16:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9910511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animationgirlKIA/pseuds/animationgirlKIA
Summary: In which Akame gets Tatsumi's harem out of the blue. Harem shenanigans ensue.





	1. Territory

**Author's Note:**

> Man, Tatsumi's the worst otome protagonist ever! He gets all these attractive folks throwing themselves at his feet, and he just bawks and stutters like a pathetic chicken. Worst heroine ever.
> 
> Enter Akame, the _true_ otome protagonist of the show—and just true protagonist, period.
> 
> ("Everyone Lives" AU, so no comments on character deaths, m'kay?)

"Woo! Did that felt great!" Leone cheered as she and Akame were walking back from a mission. The blonde lioness and the raven-haired girl had just succeeded in assassinating a corrupt oil merchant in the depths of the Oriental District, leaving no trace.

"Hmm. Indeed," Akame nodded. While she didn't share Leone's enthusiasm, she was overall satisfied with the result.

"Heh, and especially the part when I said to the guy, 'Killed by two hot babes, huh? You lucky dog.' HA!" Leone cackled. "Should've seen the look of his ugly face when he realized this was not the threesome he had in mind!"

Akame didn't say anything. It was common for Leone to boast whenever they completed every mission. Not feeling the need to comment, the ruby-eyed girl just listened quietly.

"You know, about the 'hot babes' line, we really do make a lovely combo, you know that?"

Akame still didn't say anything.

"I mean, we compliment each other so well! I'm the bombshell blonde while you're the midnight beauty. I attack like crazy while you attack with caution. I smash with my fists while you slash with your sword. Really, we make the perfect duo—kicking so much ass while showing off our bodacious bodies!"

The line of compliments didn't faze Akame in the slightest. It was also common for Leone to praise the both of them in an almost gushy, fangirlish way.

"And yet, despite seeing folks drop to their knees, I haven't seen you on yours as well."

 _Wait, what does she—_ Akame thought, right before she found herself glomped by the older female. As the girl was trapped under the lioness' clutches, she felt a hot lick to her cheek. The unexpected act drove Akame to push Leone away from her, turning her blank face into a red, stammering mess. "L-Leone!"

"About time I got a reaction outta you, cutie-pie," Leone winked as she smirked. "Consider this a victory kiss of some sorts."

"V-victory kiss?!"

"Ha, ha! Yep!" Leone felt like she was the proudest woman in the world. "Be glad that your reward was fulfilling enough for a job's work well done!"

Akame had her hand to her cheek, still as red as ever.

"Oh, and by the way, I've marked you as my territory now."

"What?"

"I've noticed lately that some folks were having their eye on you, so I didn't want them to have my prey. You can thank me for it later."

Akame tried to comprehend what Leone was saying, but it was no use. Her blush faded as a realization came over her.

Leone always said things like that. She was playful and flirtatious, after all. Even when she declared someone as her own "prey", it wasn't like she'd actually do anything about it.

And since when did Leone say that some people were having an eye for her? It wasn't like Akame had seen them throwing themselves at her feet or anything like that...


	2. Disguise

"Mine, are you sure this is going to work?"

"Of course it will! Nobody's going to recognize you!"

In the streets of the Capital, Mine and Akame walked through busy crowds in public view. Normally, exposing oneself in broad daylight would be incredibly dangerous—but Akame was in disguise and Mine did not have a wanted poster on her yet. Akame wore a white dress, white slippers, and a straw hat; she also had her hair in a bun, and donned blue contacts to cover her red eyes.

It was all Mine's idea. She had come to Akame earlier, asking her to join her on a mission to investigate the Capital's surroundings. Akame hesitated, but Mine already prepared an outfit so that the former wouldn't be spotted so easily. In addition, Mine told her that the mission was to be kept secret between them, nobody else.

Akame understood. The whole point was to blend in the crowd while searching for corruption. Mine understood it as well, that's why she was so proficient in identifying places where corruption lurked its murky waters.

Like the dress boutique.

Or the tea house.

Or maybe that dainty bakery right across the street.

Indeed, whether it was trying on fancy dresses, drinking tea, or buying sweets, Akame dedicated her life and soul in battling the Capital's corruption.

"Oh, the gift shop is right around the corner," said Mine. "Stay right here for a second." As she pranced her pinky pigtails all the way to the shop like a peppy little girl (attitude, not stature), Akame was impressed of how well she was playing into the role. Nobody would certainly suspect someone who was acting like she was having the time of her life. If it weren't a facade, Akame would find it a pleasant sight.

Just then, Akame sniffed something so powerful it made her mouth drool. The aroma was coming from a vendor that served cooked meat. Without any restraint, she bolted to the vendor and ordered nearly all the meat the owner had.

"Jeez, lady! You sure have some freaky appetite, you know that?" The owner asked, bewildered.

Akame was too busy gobbling to talk.

"I've never seen a customer with an appetite as big as the Prime Minister! And he's _this_ big!" The owner spread his arms wide to showcase the Minister's unflattering physique. Even if guards were to overhear and execute him on the spot, they would've agreed wholeheartedly. "However... for such a big appetite, you sure are a pretty little thing, ain't 'cha?"

"Mmm?"

"Pale skin, sea blue eyes, I'm sure as hell be surprised if you don't have a boyfriend at this moment. Then again, maybe you can find one right here..."

Akame immediately lost her appetite. The owner's lecherous look almost made her regret leaving Murasame back at the base. Luckily for her, someone else had already lost her temper.

"HEY! JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" The high-pitched shrill was soon followed by rampaging steps as a pint-sized chick cut a path through the frightened crowd. It was Mine! Coming to Akame's rescue! Oh thank goodness! "GET AWAY FROM HER YOU PERVERT!"

The explosive accusation broke the owner into a sweating fit. "P-pervert?! I-I ain't even done anything to her!"

"OH COME ON!" Mine barked, wrapping her arm around Akame's possessively. "WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD TRY TO SWEET-TALK A CUSTOMER?! A PERVERT FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

Wow, Mine seemed to be playing the role really well.

"Oi, I don't wanna cause a scene here, missy!"

"THEN DON'T HIT ON MY FRIEND YOU SHITTY PERVERT!"

A little _too_ well. Akame realized how Mine's seemingly convincing outbursts were drawing strange looks from the crowd. Uncomfortable with all this attention, she dragged the rabid Chihuahua as far away from the streets as possible.

 

* * *

 

_Later, in a forest outside the Capital..._

"Mine, hah... I thank you for saving me back, hah... there," Akame panted, completely out of breath. "But you making outbursts like that, hah... would've blown our cover."

"Hmph! That creep deserved it!" Mine scoffed, arms crossed. "Besides, you deserve someone who treats you like a lady, not some object!"

Akame still grasped for air.

The irritation in Mine's voice quickly melted. "Anyway, I bought you something. You did a fantastic job on the mission today." She held out a small, white box with a red ribbon tied around it. "Go ahead. Open it."

Genuinely surprised, Akame took the gift and gradually untied the ribbon. When she opened the box, there laid a necklace with a shiny meat pendant. "Ah! It's wonderful!" Akame happily gasped. "Thank you so much, Mine!"

Mine smiled. "Well, I know how much you love meat, so I thought it'd be fitting for you to wear something you love so much. You can even wear it while we're fighting crooks. Think of it like a good luck charm of some sorts." A pink shade appeared on her cheeks. "Of course, when you wear it, maybe you can think of me..."

"Huh? What was that?" Akame didn't quite understand the last part.

"Er, I mean—d-don't think I'm giving you this just for other reasons!" The abrupt switch from sweetness to sassiness threw Akame off. "I'm only doing this as a comrade, nothing more!"

"Um..."

"I-it's not like the necklace has any other purpose besides good luck! Hell, I'm not even sure if it actually _brings_ good luck anyways!"

"..."

"On second thought, forget wearing it! It's just some stupid scrap of metal with absolutely no help in fighting!"

"... Do you want me to keep the present or not?"


	3. Wonder

The vast teal blue surrounded Akame as she swam underwater. Keeping a sharp eye on her target, she trailed right behind until it was within her reach. She dived in for the kill. Within a matter of minutes, Akame burst out of the water with a fish three times her size.

"Amazing!" Sheele clapped her hands, starstruck as a child. "I wish I could do something like that!" The violet-haired woman was sitting on a flat boulder, bearing a picnic basket by her side. She watched with wonder as Akame strolled out of the river, glistening in her crimson bikini.

So this was what it looked like watching Akame hunt. Sheele could've sworn she saw a killer goddess right there.

After cutting, grilling, and seasoning the fish (courtesy of not Sheele, since she would have ruined it beyond repair), the two ladies gave their blessings before feasting upon their meals wholeheartedly. While Sheele chewed at her own pace, Akame devoured more-than-half her portion in a blink of an eye. Sheele was amazed even further, but also worried. She brought the basket just in case Akame needed some extra refreshments, but maybe those wouldn't be enough to satisfy the hungry goddess...

"Um, Akame?" Sheele meekly asked. "Maybe it would be best for you to take your time with your food? Eating so fast might not be good for your figure..."

The sharp-eyed girl raised an eyebrow.

"N-not that there is anything wrong with your figure! It's a very beautiful figure!" The bespectacled woman did not realize what she was stammering until she took a good hard look at Akame's drenched body.

Pale skin illuminating a soft glow.

Luscious hair sprawling all the way to the ground.

Crimson swathes wrapping themselves around ample bosom and shapely hips.

The heavenly sight bewitched Sheele into gazing far longer than she should've had—flushed cheeks and starry eyes galore.

"Uh, Sheele? Sheele...?" Utterly clueless to this sudden worship, the pseudo goddess called the entranced woman back to reality.

"Ha—What?"

"Do you want this?" Akame had sweet dumplings in her hand. She went through the basket and was about to eat them before realizing they were Sheele's favorite. Then she heard a croak. "Sheele, are you crying?!"

Like a lowly peasant overwhelmed by the Almighty's offering, Sheele failed to realize the rapid waterfalls pouring down her face. "You... you're so wonderful... doing all these incredible things while looking your best... and here I am doing absolutely nothing on this trip... yet you brought me here because I had nothing else to do at the base... and even remembering that sweet dumplings are my favorite... I feel so touched!"

Akame didn't understand. How can someone get so emotional over being offered food? She wasn't even starving! "Sheele, this is not a big deal. I am simply offering you food. Please stop crying."

"You're right. You're right, I'm just—gah!" Sheele rubbed her eyes hastily until her glasses fell off. She stood up and tried to look for them, but her extremely poor eyesight was no help. "My glasses! Oh, where could they be—ah!" She stumbled and was about to fall before Akame caught her, but the two overrode balance and fell to the ground. Eyes shut from the landing, Sheele slowly reopened them.

Only to find herself on top of Akame, inches away from her face. Both girls were wide-eyed, completely red, and dead silent.

But that wasn't all. Sheele felt like she grabbed something soft and squishy. Her eyes trailed down to find out that her hand was squeezing Akame's lady pillow. _Now_ she felt like she was going to die right there.

" ** _GAAAAH!!!_** " Sheele screamed, promptly getting off of Akame. She fell to her knees, begging for forgiveness. " _I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY OH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME DON'T KILL ME DON'T KILL ME **PLEASE!!!!**_ "

Akame tried her best to calm the frantic woman down. "N-no! It's alright! Please don't blame yourself! I know you didn't mean to!" Although confused and flustered over Sheele's strange behavior, she knew the woman was no pervert. "Don't blame yourself, really!"

Sheele stopped wailing, but her eyes looked like she had committed the unforgivable sin of defiling a heavenly being forever.

Akame sighed. "Let's just pretend this never happened, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally, I don't believe Sheele had developed feelings towards Tatsumi; but you know how the series likes to portray him as a chick magnet...


	4. Form

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this as a sorta sequel to _Spar_ , only more... _intense_ , to say the least.

"Yo, Akame! Care to join me for a match?" Bulat called out to Akame as he saw her running by the practice field.

"I can't right now. I have to head to the forest for some gathering."

"Not even for a little bit?"

"I wish I could, but I can't."

Ever since they last sparred, Bulat had been asking Akame to spar with him non-stop. This past week, he had asked her about thirty times. It was a number that would've driven Tatsumi weary (and possibly insane), but Akame didn't mind. It was important to train after all—who knew when the enemy would strike at any given moment? Besides, it was nice for Bulat to expand his selection of training partners besides Tatsumi.

A light bulb sprung on Bulat's head. "Tell ya what: if you fight me, I'll take you to a nice little restaurant and you can choose whatever your heart desires. My treat."

Like a little girl going to the candy store, Akame sparkled the moment he said "restaurant." Within a matter of seconds, she sprung out of her clothes to reveal her training outfit underneath. "Let's do this!" she elatedly exclaimed. Even Bulat stood stunned by the speed of her reaction. "I want to pick all the delicious meat on the menu when the time comes!"

Bulat smiled. "Whatever you call for, _sweetheart_."

 

 

_Sweetheart?_

Akame was a little thrown off by this sudden term of endearment, but she brushed it aside. Knowing Bulat, he was probably being friendly as usual. And knowing him even _further_ , the sudden term of endearment was probably a joke.

 

* * *

 

_20 minutes of intense sparring later..._

Akame and Bulat were completely wiped out, having given it their all.

"Hah, hah... well done!" Bulat panted. "I'm still amazed, hah... you're even better at this than Tatsumi!"

Although Akame would never say it, she did agree. It wasn't like she had a high opinion of herself. Tatsumi still had a long way to go.

"However, hah... your form needs some work."

"My form?" Akame was confused. She thought that her form was perfect. "What's wrong with it?"

Bulat eventually recomposed himself and walked in her direction. "Here, let me show you." He took Akame's staff and began to play around with it. "You see, the key to fight efficiently is to loosen your stance. If you tense your muscles before you jump into action, your moves will become stiff and controlled. If you relax your muscles however, you'll have a higher chance to flow more freely."

Observing the man's fluid movements, Akame never realized that there was another way to fight in the midst of danger. "I see. May I see what it feels like?"

Her request seemed to please the pompadoured man—almost eagerly so. "Certainly." He strolled by the girl's side and slouched down so that he could see her by eye level. Hovering his muscular arms over her delicate ones, Bulat allowed Akame to share his grip on the staff. It was an odd sight, for the girl looked so tiny compared to the massive hunk.

"Now, spread your legs apart, but not too far so you won't lose your balance," Bulat instructed, guiding one hand over Akame's leg. He slid his hand up until it reached her hip.

All nice and slow.

"Then move your hips around so you'll be able to keep your flexibility."

"Okay...?"

"Trust me, I know."

Akame didn't understand how this would help her, but she obliged nevertheless. She pivoted her hips with his large hand by her side. Actually, this was pretty helpful so far. Akame never knew she could swing her hips so widely.

"That's right... now scoot in the closest direction you can see from."

 _What?_ Akame thought incredulously. Now these strange instructions were taking a turn for the stranger—and vaguer. "I don't understand. Can you please show me this 'scoot in closest direction?'"

Bulat removed his hand from her hip, put it around her waist, and pulled her closer to him. " _Like this?_ " he asked, but with a tone that shook and sweltered Akame like a hot potato. It wasn't a tone aimed towards a student.

It was a tone aimed towards a _lover_.

_Huh?!_

Wide-eyed over the seductive tone, Akame turned to face Bulat—and saw those dreamy, sapphire bedroom eyes gazing upon her ruby orbs. She looked away from him. _No. No, I must be seeing things. This has to be a dream_ , Akame reassured herself. But the tender caress to her waist made her realize this was _far_ from a dream.

"You're trembling. It's not good to do this," Bulat added, his hot breath against her ear. "Relax your body." The suave words only sent more chills down Akame's spine—and not just the nervous variety, much to her shock. The red flush that crept through her cheeks harmonized with the intensely weird sensations throughout her body. The huffing and puffing. The pooling in her belly. The increasing weight of her flesh bulbs (with little dots perking up). The raging hormones bubbling within the girl were absolutely overwhelming.

And the amount of discomfort the man had seeing her like this was absolutely nonexistent.

"Come on, relax yourself," Bulat prodded. He moved his hand to Akame's back and pressed against it, causing her to arch back. Akame resisted the urge to let out a moan. She was sure that he liked men. Up until that point, he never saw her as more than a friend. Since when did he take an interest in her? Was there something about him that she didn't even know?

Eyes shut, lips pursed, Akame tried to break the moment with a hushed statement. "Bulat. I'm not a boy."

"Gender shouldn't matter when you're on the battlefield."

"N-no, I mean that-" Akame stammered. "T-this. Us—"

"We'll do whatever it takes to endure any kind of pain the Empire throws at us," the man interjected, completely missing the point. What the hell was Bulat doing, flirting with a girl? Had he gone deaf? Or blind? More importantly, did he even know he's flirting with a girl?!

Akame popped an eye to glance at him. Angular face with desirable eyes. Chiseled pectorals dripping with sweat. Then again, he wasn't bad looking— _Wait, what am I thinking?!_ she thought. _I shouldn't be thinking about him like this!_

Bulat dipped his hot breath to her neck. "Of course, that doesn't mean that there's not enough time to indulge in some _pleasure_." Rousing her hormones with his bizarre behavior, it was only a matter of time until Akame completely lost it. She lowered her gaze, only to notice something protruding.

In his pants.

 

 

_Shwoop._

Before he knew it, Bulat felt a hard kick to his leg, toppling his balance.

Akame fled, flushed all over her face. She concluded that spending too much time around women must've messed his mind up.


	5. Game

Akame walked through the green, sun-kissed forest.

All alone.

By herself.

With nobody else to lick her, sass her, grope her, boner her...

Nope. None of that crazy stuff.

Hoping to get her mind off of it, Akame thought it would be the perfect time to gather some plants. Herbs were important for treatment and flavoring after all.

And off she did, without _any_ disturbances whatsoever.

When all of that was done, Akame sat down and rested herself against a tree. Before actual resting though, her hawk-eyes carefully scanned the surroundings. She sighed in relief. _Nobody's here_ , Akame concluded to herself.

Yes, the area she was in was very peaceful and quiet. Gazing upon the green sea bristling with the gentle breeze, the reserved girl wished to be one with nature. Then she noticed something that broke through the green.

Hopping through the forest, an orange-furred rabbit appeared right in the middle of the scenery. Akame eyed the creature curiously, for she hadn't seen any other animal since she came here. Her presence also caught the rabbit's attention, and it hopped towards her.

Upon examining it up close, Akame smiled towards the orange creature. Normally, she would hunt rabbits for their meat, but this rabbit was too adorable for her to harm it. She crept a curled finger towards it. "You're a cute little thing, aren't you?" she cooed innocently.

The rabbit responded by rubbing its nose against her finger, its twinkling whiskers causing Akame to pet the rabbit's head. It was moments like this that made her appreciate life. Overwhelmed by its cuteness, Akame pulled the rabbit close to her chest. It was so soft, so warm, so fluffy...

_Poof._

The landscape was soon emerged in smoke, startling Akame. Not only could she not see, but her sense of touch radically changed.

"Whoa, didn't know you were the affectionate type!"

As the smoke dissipated, Akame's senses gradually realigned themselves. What she heard wasn't an animal, but a _human_. What she felt wasn't fluff, but _flesh_. What she saw wasn't fur, but _hair_. To be specific, the human was female, the flesh was clothed, and the hair was in the same orange color.

It took one and one together to realize that she wasn't hugging a rabbit, she was hugging _Chelsea_.

"Gah!" shrieked Akame, and promptly pushed Chelsea back. Flushed and fidgety, she clung to the tree like she was holding on to dear life.

"Bwahahahaha! Oh man, did I get you!" the orange-haired girl laughed, and happily sucked on her lollipop as a reward for her mischief. Chelsea was known for playing tricks on Tatsumi and Mine, but never on Akame. At least until now.

Akame gulped before bringing herself to cautiously ask, "Chelsea... what brings you here?"

The trickster was immediately forefront. "Let's play a game."

"A game?"

"Yes, hide-and-seek, to be specific."

As if Akame was ever in the mood to play a silly game. "Why me? Can't you do it with someone else?"

"I just think that it'd be more fun to play it with someone who's so good at being quiet," explained Chelsea. "However, seeing you in your scaredy-cat state tells me that you're more suited for seeking at the moment." Letting out a girlish giggle, she pulled out her cosmetic Imperial Arms—only to catch an apprehensive glare from Akame. "What? Isn't it obvious? I'll be hiding, and you'll be seeking!"

"Grrr..."

"Oh? You're looking at this? Don't worry, I'll try not to use my Gaea Foundation... much."

"..."

"Not even for a lollipop?"

 

* * *

 

_A few minutes later..._

_Curse that Chelsea, but more importantly, damn my hunger_ , Akame pathetically thought as she covered her eyes and counted to ten. (She even slowly began to realize that her hunger had gotten her exploited several times.) She would've taken the opportunity to run away as well, but the butterscotch lollipop offered to her was too good to be refused.

As soon as Akame finished her counting, she turned around and scanned the forest. No sight of anyone so far...

"Ah! What the—?!"

Except for that squirrel that was clinging to her leg. Akame tried her best to shake it off, but the squirrel was resilient enough to climb all the way to her chest.

_Poof._

And just like that, Chelsea reappeared, her face nuzzling in between Akame's lady pillows. "Ah~ Do these feel nice~" she commented, purely in ecstasy. "Not too big but not too sma—"

"WHAT WAS THAT JUST NOW?! YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO HIDE!" Akame hollered, but not before karate chopping Chelsea's head. Chelsea only chuckled wearily in order to ease the pain.

"Sorry, sorry. I just couldn't help myself... _cutie_ ," Chelsea remarked, right before walking off again. "Okay, I'll hide again properly this time."

Another ten counts passed, and Akame was already looking again. Taking into account Chelsea's shapeshifting ability, she had to be very careful of who might jump on her next. If it was another creature, Akame would feel compelled to restrain its neck until it nearly croaked. (Extreme, but useful in getting Chelsea to reveal herself.)

 _Rustlerustle_.

_"!"_

Akame sensed something coming from a nearby bush. Tiptoeing without sound, she hid herself behind a tree. The bush kept rustling. _It's got to be her. I can feel it_ , Akame thought. Without hesitation, she wrestle-slammed onto the bush—only to wrestle-slam onto nothingness instead.

However, it was too late for Akame to process the bush's lack of presence: she began to feel tree branches wrapping themselves around her. She turned around and saw an unnaturally bent tree hovering over her, as if someone had used witchcraft to give its demented position.

_Poof._

And once again, the lollipop-tongued trickster was all over Akame, wrapping her arms around soft skin. "Guess you couldn't tell that I misplaced my aura, huh? Who knew that someone as adorable as you could be so clueless?" Chelsea remarked, letting out another girlish giggle once more.

For the next several minutes, it was a series of repeated shenanigans: Akame trying her damnest to find whatever the hell Chelsea was disguised as (i.e. a bird, a bear cub, _a log_ ), only for the latter to jump on her as much as possible. Eventually, it became less like hide-and-seek and more like seek-and-glomp instead. When Akame threw a fit, Chelsea decided to appease the wrathful girl by letting her finally hide.

And it didn't take long for the exhausted girl to be brave enough to say her sweet goodbyes to that lollipop.

"Huh? Akame?"

Just when Chelsea was looking around, she found a note on a tree. It said, " _I'm hiding. You, on the other hand, are not seeking. Ever."_


	6. Wish

"General Esdeath seems to have an intricate taste, don't you think?"

The Emperor and the Prime Minister were at dinner, discussing the General's wish in finding a lover.

"I mean, I truly _do_ want to help her find a suitable suitor, but I do not know if there's anyone that would fit her requirements," the young Emperor continued. He brought out a list and read it out loud.

"Listen to this—'First off, my darling can either be male or female, as long as they're an experienced fighter. I value strength and agility above all else. Secondly, they must be fearless and be able to hunt Danger Beasts. Thirdly, physically-wise I would like that person to be slender but well-endowed. Small packages or bosoms do not satisfy me. Fourthly, since I will be the dominant one, they must be younger than I am. And lastly, it would be nice if they had an aloof aura, for I would relish my time in making that person melt before my knees.'"

The Prime Minister rubbed his temple upon hearing such specific needs for such indiscriminate tastes. He wasn't quite used to the fact that Esdeath also had an eye for the ladies as well, but he couldn't object to it. Who knew what she might do to him if he spoke his mind?

"Well, plenty of our soldiers are very experienced—not to mention very hardened—but they're older than her and have bulky structures," the pudgy Prime Minister remarked.

"For the _men's_ side, anyway!" the Emperor retorted. "What about the women's side?"

The Emperor pondered for a bit before giving his answer. "Although we have female soldiers, none of them so far has ever achieved high-ranking positions. I only recall General Esdeath to be the only woman who's achieved that title. Not to mention that although women are very slender and curvaceous, they're also naturally emotional—something that might put General Esdeath off." (He wasn't blind to Esdeath's gender; he just assumed her subantarctic heart had no tolerance for tied tubes in a knot.)

"I see..." replied the Emperor. "Since General Esdeath will be hosting the martial arts tournament tomorrow, we'll just have to wait and see..."

 

* * *

 

_The next day..._

The center of a giant stadium laid upon warriors from vast parts of the Empire, battling for riches, fame, and glory.

And in the sidelines laid upon Esdeath, apathetic, disinterested, and utterly bored out of her mind.

"What. Is. _This_?" she punctuated in contempt. "I'm not watching a glorious battle, I'm watching filthy pigs flopping around like they're fishes. Disgusting." None of the warriors who have proven themselves victors ever proved victorious over her heart. Battle after battle, Esdeath spewed out repulsive comments towards them, and it seemed that she would have no luck in finding her tasty bun bun.

The next battle was the last match: a brawny, gigantic human-ox hybrid versus a mysterious, cloaked figure. On the verge of falling asleep, Esdeath paid no attention to the announcer's introductions. She might as well leave and focus on which village to plunder next. _What's the use?_ Esdeath lamented. _I'll never find my one true love. These weaklings laying out before me are just a waste of ti—_

Before the ox hybrid landed the first punch, he crashed head straight onto the ground.

" _?!_ "

Alarmed by the sudden collapse, Esdeath pulled herself together to register what just happened. From the audience's perspective, the cloaked figure propelled himself high into the air to deliver the first and final blow on the hybrid. The blow appeared to be in the form of a sword cut, but the hybrid showed no visible wounds and merely fell into unconsciousness.

 _Wha-what is this?! Impossible! No mere warrior could ever claim victory so quickly!_ Bulging eyes and gaping mouth galore, the formerly-icy woman stared at the cloaked figure. Who was this person? How did he deliver the finishing blow with such grace?

_Ba-bump._

And that aura... there was something very _cold_ to it, but also something very _warm—_ no, not only that, but also something very _raw_.

 _Ba-bump._ **_Ba-bump._ **

And the only visible sign of the person's identity was a sharp glint in those eyes—bloody red. The pure eyes of a killer.

**_Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump_ _Ba-bump..._ **

Needless to say, it didn't take long for the chest-bursting heartbeat and rosy cheeks to make the lovestruck general think, _I must make him mine!_ It was only then that the cloak slipped off that a cold bucket was poured over her.

"Wait a sec—! Is that Akame?!"

"Oh my god! It _is_ her!"

"IT'S THAT NOT-PROTAGONIST BITCH FROM NIGHT RAID!"

Pretty soon, the entire stadium roared with anger over the fact that the exposed figure was one of the Capital's most wanted. And it was pretty justified: Akame had brought two swords along—a plain, old sword and the infamous Murasame. In addition, she wasn't intimidated in the slightest by the crowd's anger—and directed her focus on Night Raid's most wanted above her.

It would be utterly foolish for Esdeath to be unaware of Akame's reputation—hence her shouting, " _MAKAHADOMA!_ ", and using that trump card to freeze time around her. In that short span, she flipped like an acrobat and landed right in the middle of the arena—all while setting her sights on Akame. After doing what needed to be done, Esdeath allowed time to resume.

Ending with Akame stripped of her swords—and in replacement, a collar with chains around her neck.

"Huh?! She did it! She captured Akame!"

"Kill her! Chop her head off and stick it on a pole!"

"TORTURE HER LIKE THE REST OF THE CUTE CHICKS IN THIS SHOW!"

 **" _SILENCE!_ "** Esdeath's roar echoed throughout the stadium. "I am not going to kill this girl! If she is a member of Night Raid, then I will change her!"

 

 

"... What?"

**" _WHAT???!!!!_ "**

"And if anyone dares to get in between us, I will make absolute sure to dismember their torsos and throw their innards on top of crosses, SO THAT EVERYONE WILL SEE THE PIGS WHO TRIED TO TAKE DOWN _**OUR LOV** **E** **!**_ "

To say that every single member wanted their souls to leave their bodies than to hear this disturbing, lovesick garbage was an understatement. But the most jarring of all was Akame, whose breathless question before the audience's shouting was an ominous signal of what's to come. The amorous stare from Esdeath did not help at all...

 

* * *

 

_Later that night..._

"... Nnnh, Akame-chan, when you squirm like that, it makes me want you more~"

"KUROME! KUROME! WHERE ARE YOU, KUROME?!" Akame was clawing her fingers on the ground, resisting an aroused Esdeath on top of her. The older woman was wearing nothing but an open blouse, exposing her voluptuous melons for all the horny fanboys to jerk off to.

"I know we haven't gotten to know each other in bed, but... if you want to do it on the floor, then why don't you say so? You naughty girl..."

As if failing to kill and trying to escape from a general in heat wasn't enough, Akame felt something _dripping_ on her leg—something to which she wanted to know absolutely nothing about. "KUROME! _KUROME!_ "

"Oh, Akame-chan~ Together you and I will be the strongest couple— _WE WILL DOMINATE THE EARTH!_ "

Akame wanted to die. A day in the torture chamber would've been far more merciful than being someone's sex slave.

**" _KKUUURRRRROOOOOMMMMEEEEE!_ "**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esdeath's the raunchiest out of all the harem, she even puts Bulat to shame!


	7. Normalcy

Tatsumi was strolling through the hallways of Night Raid when all of a sudden, a hand grabbed him and pulled him in a dark room. Taken aback by the cramped surroundings, he didn't realize what was going on until a familiar voice called out to him.

"Tatsumi!"

"A-Akame?! What are you doing here?" He was also taken aback by her voice—it was trembling with anxiety, completely unlike the monotonous tone he was used to.

"Ta-Tatsumi... what exactly do you feel for me?"

"Huh?" The question couldn't help but make the boy blush.

" _Answer the question!_ " Though the girl's agitation (and circulation-cutting grip on his shoulders) pushed the blush away in favor of sweat drops flooding through his face.

"Umm... uh... what I feel for you is about the same as everyone else? That you're a precious comrade and a good friend to hang around with?"

"... Is there anything else?"

"Uh... no? Can you please let go of me?" The boy was already squirming from the nails digging into his skin.

Realizing that Tatsumi appeared to be the sane needle in the haystack of insanity, Akame sighed in relief and released her grip. With freedom, Tatsumi brought himself to ask a very obvious question. "What's up with you, Akame? You usually don't act like this."

An appropriate response would be, "What's up with me? More like _what's up with everyone else?!_ ", but Akame was too tongue-tied to respond as she thought back to the folks who acted bizarrely affectionate towards her. Leone, Mine, Sheele, Chelsea—hell, even _Bulat_ , of all people. Not to mention freakin' _Esdeath_ for crying out loud! The last one made Akame fully realize she had a hypnotic beauty that would turn normal people into lovesick pursuers.

Even Tatsumi—the pinnacle of dull normalcy—could be struck by her curse. But if venting to him was the lesser evil compared to dealing with nearly everyone in Night Raid (or that general from the Jaegers), she had nothing to lose.

"Everyone has been acting strange towards me lately. I don't know how to explain it, but... they've been paying more attention to me than usual. Like they're going out of their way to show me how much I matter to them... and it's all too much. Too much. I'm not used to this kind of attention. I don't even understand _why_ I deserve to be showered with so much love. Do you understand what I mean?"

Tatsumi slowly nodded. He remembered the vivid details of the night when Night Raid announced it was going to rescue Akame from General Esdeath.

Bulat immediately announced that he was going to save Akame, proclaiming himself to be her manly knight in shining armor. Mine got infuriated by this, and stated that Akame had no need to be saved by someone with an arrogant attitude and a piss-poor pompadour—only for Bulat to retort that a midget with a heavy-ass gun would stand no chance in close range combat. As the two argued, Chelsea butted in, stating that her Gaea Foundation was far more effective than Bulat's Incursio due to hiding its aura without the need to turn invisible—and proceeded to call his Imperial Arms "gay." Leone charged in next, stating that since she already marked Akame as her "territory", she should be the one to save her and the other three should back off her "prey" or else. Sheele meekly offered but ended up crying when the other folks shot her down due to her habitual klutziness.

In the midst of the inflammatory wall of text, Tatsumi, Lubbock, Susanoo, and Najenda were the only ones to have stayed out of the conflict. Perhaps it was because of that silence that Najenda ended up ordering the first three to save Akame. (Unbeknownst to Tatsumi, Akame couldn't trust Lubbock or Susanoo as well; there was Lubbock's perverted tendencies and Susanoo's... well, if _Bulat_ could be attracted to a girl, then who said that an Imperial Arms couldn't do the same thing?)

"They're paying attention to you because they care about you, Akame. Well, in their own weird way... but that's not the point. The point is that you're an amazing person. You're very strong, very capable of doing anything, and you often look cool while doing so. And behind all that power, you have a kind heart that cares about all of us at Night Raid. It's those skills that many people would find admirable, and it's no surprise that you're the most popular among us. Heck, there are even times when I think that you're better than me in a lot of ways."

Tatsumi's response stunned Akame to her core. While she did know that she was better than him in a lot of ways, she always did sense that Tatsumi had far more value than her (somehow...). She could've sworn that the ones who were overly affectionate towards her were the very ones who once acted the same way towards him. Maybe they simply grew tired of him? That the "real" protagonist was a generic, stale character all along? And that the poster girl was far more interesting to go after?

"How does this explain me being held hostage by Esdeath for over two weeks?"

"Beats me," Tatsumi said. "That woman used to be crazy for me, but now she's acting like I don't even exist."

The red-eyed girl decided not to question this abrupt twist of fate.

"Oh, that reminds me: Bro's been looking all over for you."

Akame froze.

"Apparently, you were supposed to go out to dinner with him, but you bailed out in the last minute. Did something happen between you two?" While Tatsumi said it, he thought, _Come to think of it, Bro's been ignoring me for weeks!_

Akame opened her mouth, only to shut it. She didn't know how Tatsumi would react to Bulat's unpredictable behavior.

"You'll understand one day, Tatsumi."


	8. Bonus

In a nightly bar, a large man was sitting by the counter with a mug in his hand.

"I-I-I-I gotta tell ya somethin'. Luv is pureetee complicated, ya know."

Although his heart-shaped pompadour showed that he had an affinity for romance, the man felt his heart sagging through the dirty road of rejection. No, that analogy was too insignificant for him—it was more like having his heart plunge into the depths of a deep, cruel ocean.

"I meen, it hits ya when ya leest expekt it. I thaut it wud never happen to me, but it deed. Oh gawd, do I feel pafetik..."

The man slammed his head against the counter, chuckling and hiccuping like a true sad drunk. Across from him, a bartender was silently paying attention.

"Laik just todei, I traid to woo over a gurl that I laiked, and she just kiked me outta nowhere n left me hangin'. Me, Bara, bara—uh, Bra-Braht? Er—no, no, no, no, no, no—Bulat? Wut vuh hell am ai sayin', ai'm pafetik..."

Bulat's slurred speech was nearly incomprehensible to hear, but the bartender paid full attention regardless.

"Aw well, vat's wut happens when u laik a gurl and u happen to be gay."

The bartender raised an eyebrow. He certainly did not expect to hear this tidbit.

"Speekin' of bitch, am ai gay or am ai bi? _Gawd I dunno._ "

 _You're drunk, that's for sure_ , the bartender thought. His face kept its blank state, even when seeing Bulat slam his head against the counter like a defective whack-a-mole. Seeing the pitiful sight, the bartender mustered the most encouraging words mankind has ever thought of.

"Sir, just go home already."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah... that's it. I'm done. Just wanted to give Bulat a little more screen time because I can. :P


End file.
